My Family Album 瞧咱这家子！

　　Where there’s smoke,you’ll find my wife cooking dinner.

　　哪里有烟，哪里就有我老婆在煮饭。

　　Quick,call a witch doctor!My witch is sick.

　　快，打电话叫巫医来，我的巫婆病了！

　　I come from a stupid family.During the Civil War my great Uncle fought for the west!

　　我来自一个白痴之家。南北战争期间，我那伟大的叔叔为西部而战！

　　I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

　　我有一个跟我几乎是心灵相通的女友，可她在我们相遇前就把我给甩了。 My husband and I divorced over religious differences.He thought he was God and I didn’t.

　　老公和我因为宗教分歧而离婚了：他认为他是上帝，可我不这么认为。

　　My mechanic told me,“I couldn’t repair your brakes,so I made your horn louder.”

　　技工师傅跟我说：“我修不好你的刹车，所以把喇叭音量调大了。”

　　I know why I am single,my parents-in-law were not able to have kids…

　　我知道为什么我还是孤家寡人一个了，因为岳父岳母无法生育……

　　My mother-in-law walks five miles every day,I wonder where she is at this moment.

　　我岳母大人每天步行5英里，到如今我都想知道她老人家的芳踪啊……

　　My girlfriend ran off with my best friend after a relationship of four years…Oh how I miss my friend.

　　谈了4年后，我女友跟着我最好的朋友跑了……唉，好想我那位朋友呀！ “Learn to appreciate art,”I told my girlfriend.She said,“How could I appreciate you,then?”

　　“要学会欣赏艺术，”我跟女友说。她答：“那你叫我怎么欣赏你咧？”

　　When my brother was five years old,he wanted to become a lawyer.Now that he is a lowyer,he acts like a five-year old.

　　我弟5岁时就想当律师了；现在他是律师了，可行为举止却还停留在5岁时的样子。