引用

行者，诗人，艺术家-谢子夏 的 哥轻敌了，原来八爪鱼的屁这么厉害！！

前天跟小黑去潜水，途中遇到一只半米多长的八爪鱼。第一次近距离地观察这种粘糊糊的软体动物，它正在海底慢悠悠地闲庭信步 。视我跟小黑如无物。上船后，我问小黑“你知道八爪鱼哪根是手，哪根是脚吗？”小黑说“不知道，这要问问八爪鱼它自己”.我说：“不用问，你朝它放一个屁。它用来捂鼻子的两根就是手，其他就是脚。”小黑大笑，可是没想到笑完之后他竟然一本正经地说：“那我们把它抓上来做个实验吧，你负责抓，我负责放屁。”我说：“不能够呀，放屁乃试验的关键，这么重要的任务我恐怕你完成得不够好，你还是负责抓吧。”小黑又笑，此次笑得很诡异 。“那我们一起抓吧。看你够不够胆量。”其实，我是不敢抓的，可是如果不去吧，就会被小黑耻笑，败坏了哥在小黑心中的地位。只能去了。

第二次潜下海底，那个八爪鱼还在原来的珊瑚礁旁边漫步，肥硕的触角上密密麻麻的吸盘收缩着向前蠕动，身上布满了根珊瑚礁石类似的褐色斑纹,此时，我竟然看到了它黑豆般的小眼睛，充满敌意地看着我和小黑。小黑不知道从哪里捡来一块长条形的小珊瑚，递给我，他自己则把脚蹼取了下来，用手势告诉我，先用珊瑚把八爪鱼挑起来，他再用脚蹼将其裹住拖走。我不置可否地接过珊瑚，先在那怪物的触角上试了一下，发现吸盘粘地很紧。挑了半天，只挑开一个，可是它又很迅速地吸在了珊瑚礁上,试了几次未遂，我便把珊瑚换给了小黑，小黑拿过珊瑚二话不说朝八爪鱼那光光的头上猛砸。我顿时惊呆了，很担心小黑惹恼了那个家伙，其实我的担心是多余的，任何动物对这种“敲头”这种举动都会恼怒。一瞬间，我感觉像出现了幻觉，两眼一团乌黑，耳边只听见小黑一声惨叫，我的手脚就失去了平衡，黑色的浓雾伴随一种恶臭的味道扑面而来，此时根本分不清方向，我很害怕慌乱中踩到八爪鱼身上，它再用那有毒的吸盘把我的脚缠住就完蛋了，所以拼命地往上游，游了三四米，眼前仍旧一团漆黑，小黑的惨叫声也消失了，我担心这家伙不会死了吧！？然后横着游，拼命想游开这团黑雾。一口气游出近30米，海水才慢慢便蓝，四处寻找小黑，未果，索性游上海面，发现小黑已经坐在远处的船上了，心里一通暗骂：“没良心呀！畜牲。我还停下来找他，还担心他死了，谁知游这么快”。回到船上把小黑骂了一顿，“让你敲头 ！！ 还做什么试验，先让八爪鱼把咱俩当实验给做了。”小黑蹲坐着，没说话。一根烟的功夫，呼的站了起来，跑到船头的船舱里拿出了一把2尺多长的剖鱼刀。“你要干什么！？你冷静！”我说。小黑：“你稍坐片刻，我去结果了它。”说来也奇怪，我当时脑子里竟然是关羽温酒斩华雄的场景。然后违心地说了句：“兄弟，当心啊！”

此时，附近30米的海水都是近黑色的，小黑鱼鹰一样地扎进海里，一瞬间就消失了。3 分钟后，东南方向的海面上又腾起一大股黑墨。可怜的小黑，连吃两屁。

又过了，5分钟，英雄归来了，一把先把八抓鱼的“墨盒”丢上了船，就像威武的关羽把华雄的头颅丢在十八路诸侯面前。船长（另外一个小黑）赶忙下去帮忙。费了半天的劲，八爪怪终于被擒获。上图就是它浮出海面的一瞬间。

后记：

此事让我悟出三个道理：

1 小黑靠不住

2 多行不义必吃屁

3 搞清楚八爪鱼哪条是手哪条是脚是没有意义的

后记的后记：八爪鱼最后成为了小黑和我的午餐，当地渔民可以捕捉八爪鱼和非珍惜物种海鱼，而游客请不要效仿捕捉深海鱼类和动物，一者切勿非法捕杀，二者海洋有风险，进入需谨慎！

David7月4日于马代梦幻岛Dhoveli

The day before yesterday to go diving with black, a half a meter long way during the octopus. The first close observation of this slimy mollusks, it is Harbour Manyou You to strolling. As black as me nothing. Board, I ask black "Do you know what the root is the hands octopus, which is the root of feet?" Blackie said, "do not know, to ask the octopus itself." I said: "Do not ask , you move it up a fart. It is used to cover their nose two hands, the other is the feet. "black laugh, but he did not expect that after the laugh, even gravely said:" Then we put it up to be a grasping test it, you are responsible arrested, I was responsible for farting. "I said:" No to Yes, farting is a key test, so important to complete the task I am afraid you are not well, you are still responsible for grasping it. "Blackie laughed, The very strange smile. "That we are devoting to it. See you enough courage." Actually, I was not caught, but if you do not go, will be black ridiculed and undermined the position of Colombia in the black heart. Can go. Potential under the second submarine, the octopus also had a walk near a coral reef, stout antennae densely suction peristaltic contraction of the forward, who covered similar root coral brown stripes, this time, I could see to its small eyes, like black beans, full of hostility and looked at me and black. Black do not know where picked up a long strip of small coral, handed me his webbed feet to take himself down with a gesture to tell me, first octopus coral to stir up, he re-webbed feet to wrapped towed away. I noncommittal to take over the coral, the first in that monster antennae tried it and found that sucker stick to very tight. Pick a long, open only pick one, but it also brings a quick smoke in a coral reef, the pilot attempted a few times, I would put my change to the black coral, black coral took it apart from anything else towards octopus bare head Mengza. I immediately freaked out, and very worried about angering black guy, in fact, my concern is uncalled for, any animal on such "knock heads" such a move would be angry. Moment, I felt like there was an illusion, a mass of black eyes, black ears only hear scream, my hands lost his balance and black with a kind of foul smell of fog blowing, this time can not tell the direction, I am afraid of panic in the octopus who stepped on it then that the toxic sucker to my feet tangled in the finished, so Pinmingdewang upstream, swim 34 meters, eyes still dark picture , black's screams have gone, I worry that this guy will not die now! ? Then travel sideways, desperately tried to open the group Black Mist. Breath to swim 30 meters, the water slowly then blue, looking for the black, unsuccessful, simply visit Shanghai area, find the little black boat has been sitting in the distance, and heart of a pass cursed: "heartless Yeah! Animals sacrifice. I also stopped to him, but also that he was dead, behold travel so fast. " Back on board the small black verbally, "knock you head!! Also do testing, let octopus to experiment to do when we two." Squatting with black, nothing. A cigarette in the effort, call the station up and ran to the bow of the cabin and pulled out a 2-foot-long fish carver. "What do you want!? You cool!" I said. Black: "You sit awhile, I went to the results of it." Oddly enough, I had in mind turned out to be beheaded Guan Yu Wen Hua Xiong wine scene. And then said something against their: "Brother, be careful ah!" At this point, around 30 meters of sea water are nearly black, black Osprey equally headlong into the sea, the moment was gone. After 3 minutes, then the sea southeast of hopping a big stock printed with black ink. Poor black, ate two fart. Then, after 5 minutes, return of the hero, and a first eight-catch fish in the "cartridge" lost on the ship, like the mighty Guan Yu Hua Xiong's head lost in 18 road before princes. Captain (another black) rushed down to help. It took half a day's efforts, finally captured the awesome wonder. The figure is the moment it surfaced. Postscript: I realize this three reasons:

1 black unreliable over

2 deeds will eat octopus fart

3 clear which of the hand which one is no sense foot

David 4 july in ChaayaDhoveli

温酒斩海怪的小黑 Ali Abudula

先要摘除墨胆才敢上岸

八爪鱼的“墨盒”

看过《八爪鱼》电影的，对这样的一陀肉触目惊心吧

这是密密麻麻的吸盘