1. She will have at least two very expensive mobile phones, both Nokia or Ericson - none of that cheap Chinese shiit.
2. There will be at least one reference to Hello Kitty (no matter how small or insignificant) either on her phone, her clothing or as an accessory.
3. She will have a permanent scowl on her face unless one of her Shanghai Princess sisters calls her on one of her phones. Smiles are only reserved for the SPS (Shanghai Princess Sisterhood).
4. She will have a dopey klutz of a boyfriend in tow. If said klutz is Chinese he will be fawning over her, constantly looking at her and looking worried to death; if he is a Laowai he will have a look on his face that says 'fcuk this shiit'.
5. Her natural habitat is the shopping mall, Starbucks, expensive restaurants (read: Pizza Hut) and really shite bars that play really shite music.
6. When on a date with her klutz of a boyfriend she will look like a million dollars in cutting edge fashion unless they bump into any of his mates when she will look like she dropped acid and got dressed in the dark. This is a natural skill of the Shanghai Princess.
7. She thinks French wine is 'classy'.
8. She smokes cigarettes but only when she is in Starbucks and alone, trying to look distant and forlorn when, in fact, there's sweet fcuk all going on between here ears.
9. She would never be seen dead in a Giordano store but will think nothing of buying stuff in Only or wearing a Naturally JoJo T-shirt.
10. She has an English name that only white trailer-trash lapdancers would give themselves.
11. She lists Abercrombie and Finch among her favorite luxury brands.
12. She has no arse whatsoever and once sought advice from a Jingan Temple fortune teller after suffering nightmares about getting one.
13. Her dress sense is subconsciously influenced by Ronald McDonald - and occasionally also by Happy Meal toys.
14. In her philanthopic moments she dreams about setting up a blog to share her fashion sense with her 'sisters' from other provinces.
15. She reckons Bacardi Breezers are a sophisticated alternative to French wine.
16. She thinks a Dixie Stinger is one of her friends. You can test this by taking her into a bar and asking for one. Watch her gleefully sneer at the propsect of lording it over a friend who has been reduced to working as a talking girl.
17. She secretly prefers Bacardi Breezers to French wine and only orders French wine because the likes to see her boyfriend paying for it.
18. Her parents were really proud and told all the neighbors when they found she had sent her resume to www.viplily.com to offer services as a 'english guide'.
19. She has a Bacardi Breezer dress hidden in her closet from when she worked as a Bacardi Breezer promotional girl. Secretly she thinks this is a very very classy dress indeed. She somehow knows better than to wear it in public since the stopped that job (a Tiger girl warned her not to do this), but some nights she has dreams about getting married in it. She doesn't consult fortune tellers about these dreams.
20. However, the morning she woke up having dreamt about marrying the Bacardi heir in her Bacardi Breezer dress she rushed straight down to Jingan Temple to ask a fortune teller if this dream was going to come true.

21. Her name is Princess
22. At 30 she decides that being unemployed and living at home with mom and dad just isn't befitting of a real princess. She moves out.
23a. Unable to find work to support her lifestyle, she moves in with a supporting older chap.
23b. Unable to find work to support her lifestyle, she moves back in with mom and dad.

24. Her shoes are out the front of Dannyboy's room

25. Her shoes are fit for a Shanghai Princess. They are gold, silver, and very decorative with plenty of "flair". Her boyfriend who lives in Hong Kong bought them for her.

26. She wears "princess boots" that go up to her knees and she actually thinks they are cool.

27. her arse is not as hot as she thinks it is

She has a big mouth, but wouldn't know how to give a decent BJ

She gets through a whole tube of lip gloss a day

Her MSN address says something like:
PerfectAngel4You Every Heart Must have a dream in your life.

She cannot pass a mirror, window or some reflective surface without a quick look to see how she looks

33. Her dog, before it starved to death, fit in her purse and was her second favorite fashion accessory -- after her phones.

34. She has at least one email address or one screen name contains ***babe or sweet*** or anything similar.

35. Upon visiting her parent's home for the first time, you see that she has every series of My Two Dads

36. Her life icons are Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton

37. Look out of senses window

38. In her feeble imagination she has some kind of Hong Kong lifestyle, but in reality she lives in Putuo with her taxi driver dad and school dinner lady mum.

39. One of her favorite pastimes is to take digital pics of herself doing various pouting poses.

40. She will post at this time of the morning when 100% of the Shanghai Princesses will be sound asleep.

41. She studies English not to improve her job prospects but to improve her chances of scoring a Laowai husband and the chance to get the fcuk outta here...

42. She has Hello Kitty stickers all over the yellow Hyundai Coupe she has just bought care of the lao wai BF.

43. She is permanently on a diet. Even though she could hide behind a pencil.

44. she dances infront of mirrors in nightclubs, so she can perve on herslef

45. She has a tattoo at the bottom of her spine just above here arse with some Celtic/Gothic design along with every other Shanghai fcuking Princess to 'express her individuality'.

46. She could easily become a fan of any sissy pop-star.
46. SMS is an essence to manipulate BF.

47. She can spot a gay SHEXPAT from 100 meters away.
48. Whenever you bring up the topics of fukuman at SHExpat, she will imediately say "I know that fag, he's a cheap sh*t."
49. She thinks Tony Blair is a woman.
50. She can tell right away a German from an englishman.

51. She has Dannyboys number on speeddial.

52. And Dannyboy goes running as soon as she calls.

53. Hi, this is my ex-boyfriend Pablo

54. She will say: "stop whining about the girls that you can't get motherfuuckers and focus on the cheap ho's on Tongren Lu, Maoming Lu and Julu Lu".

55: once dumped she will send a mail to your company with everybody in copy saying you passed her diseases to extract some money from you
56: but she will contradict herself in the "disease" that she got from you and lose major face, as she will be identified as a classic gold digger.

57. she refuses to wear the chicken costume you bought her, but she will wear the orange spandex catwoman outfit with green 6" high heels, and she thinks handcuffs are 'pretty' but can't figure out why there are mirrors on the ceiling

58. Her boyfriend's bathroom is just not big enough for all of her make up bags. [At least one is a "Hello Kitty"]
59. "Do you think I'm beautiful?" is the most frequent question asked of her boyfriend.
60. Her boyfriend is forever closing the wardrobe door with the mirror on the inside.